Dave Radband is a former British Para who served as part of the UK Special Forces Support Group on many operations in Iraq and Afghanistan, including the infamous Op Larchwood 4.. an operation launched by B squadron of the British 22nd Special Air Service Regiment supported by SFSG and US forces to attack an Al-Qaeda-occupied farmhouse in Yusufiyah, Baghdad Governorate, Iraq. The raid was a major success, as a result of which intelligence was gathered which led to the finding and killing of Al Qaeda in Iraq's leader Abu Musab al-Zarqawi.

The war on terror and multi deployments took is toll on the body and mind of this Warfighter..
"I returned from war, I started to feel tired. It was this unending languor, clouding my emotions, hiding my motivation and affecting my concentration. I felt permanently hungover. At the same time, I started to become uneasy; anxiety and panic became the norm.

It’s 2011, Ive been blown up for my 5th time. On returning from that mission I remember panicking, hidden away from the lads. I realised that I had perfected the art of hiding, concealing, and building the perfect front. As a male, an elite soldier, I felt vulnerability wasn’t an option for me.

I returned to the UK, alcohol become my medication. I could only talk about the darkness when I was drunk and refused to think about it when I was sober. I thought the darkness would pass. I was also too embarrassed to talk about my dark emotion. I never dared to tell my brothers; it made me feel uncomfortable. Besides, I was a solider in one of the most elite units in the world; to me, weakness was prey.

So, for the boys who are afraid to embrace emotion and for the boys who feel with no tears, let’s rid the fear of talking. For the men who feel silenced and for those who have already succumbed to their darkness, let’s discuss the importance of sharing emotion.
Let’s just talk. To speak of pain is to overcome struggle, and to advocate the truths of those still excludes by the screaming mask. It’s this open and honest dialogue that is helping so many. It’s helping me.

As someone who’s tried to kill himself, I’ve come to realise the importance of emotional vulnerability within such a hyper-masculine culture that prides itself on strength and invincibility. Let’s ask boys and men alike how they are feeling, behind the performance. There is strength in susceptibility, too.

No one deserves a black cloud"

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#mentalhealthawareness #sfsg #theparachuteregiment #1para #britisharmy #mentalhealth #ptsd